Близким и родственникам людей с анорексией

2015-06-05 22:25:00
Подборка по теме. 
Ищу волонтера, который безвозмездно переведет это все на русский язык, так как на сегодняшний день адекватных материалов на русском найти не могу. Кто знает - дайте ссылку, а пока все материалы ниже на английском.


По-моему, наиболее кратко и четко написал Майк Полан , чья дочь страдала от анорексии

1. Не пытайтесь бороться с этой болезнью в одиночку.
2. Найдите лично для себя терапевта, специалиста в этой области.
3. Заботьтесь о себе.
4. Найдите команду специалистов по расстройствам пищевого поведения (врач, психотерапевт, диетолог) в помощь
5. Думайте о расстройстве пищевого поведения как о болезни
6. Верьте вашей лечащей команде.
7. Поймите, что в момент этой болезни люди не ясно мыслят
8. Будьте рядом для поддержки, а не для исправления
9. Никогда не сдавайтесь.

(с)  Мike Polan



1.

Talking to a friend or family member about their eating disorder

When approaching a loved one about an eating disorder, it’s important to communicate your concerns in a loving and non-confrontational way. Pick a time when you can speak to the person in private, then explain why you’re concerned. Try to remain positive, calm, focused, and respectful during conversations.

Your loved one may deny having an eating disorder or may become angry and defensive. However, it’s important you don’t give up. It may take some time before your loved one is willing to open up and admit to having a problem. Still, as difficult as it is to know that someone you love has an eating disorder, you cannot force someone to change. Unless it’s a young child, the decision to seek recovery has to come from them. But you can help by making it clear that you’ll continue to be there for him or her, with your compassion and support, whenever they’re ready to tackle the problem.

How to talk to someone about their eating disorder

Be careful to avoid critical or accusatory statements, as this will only make your friend or family member defensive. Instead, focus on the specific behaviors that worry you.

• Focus on feelings and relationships, not on weight and food. Share your memories of specific times when you felt concerned about the person’s eating behavior. Explain that you think these things may indicate that there could be a problem that needs professional help.


• Tell them you are concerned about their health, but respect their privacy. Eating disorders are often a cry for help, and the individual will appreciate knowing that you are concerned.


• Do not comment on how they look. The person is already too aware of their body. Even if you are trying to compliment them, comments about weight or appearance only reinforce their obsession with body image and weight.


• Make sure you do not convey any fat prejudice, or reinforce their desire to be thin. If they say they feel fat or want to lose weight, don't say "You're not fat." Instead, suggest they explore their fears about being fat, and what they think they can achieve by being thin.


• Avoid power struggles about eating. Do not demand that they change. Do not criticize their eating habits. People with eating disorders are trying to be in control. They don't feel in control of their life. Trying to trick or force them to eat can make things worse.
  Avoid placing shame, blame, or guilt on the person regarding their actions or attitudes. Do not use accusatory “you” statements like, “You just need to eat.” Or, “You are acting irresponsibly.” Instead, use “I” statements. For example: “I’m concerned about you because you refuse to eat breakfast or lunch.” Or, “It makes me afraid to hear you vomiting.”


• Avoid giving simple solutions. For example, "If you'd just stop, then everything would be fine!"

Adapted from: National Eating Disorder Information Center and National Eating Disorders Association

Helping your child with an eating disorder

Many kids with an eating disorder will react defensively and angrily when confronted for the first time. In addition to the health problems, kids who have an eating disorder are probably not having much fun. They tend to pull away from friends and keep to themselves, avoiding going out for pizza with their friends, for example, or enjoying a birthday party.

If you suspect your child has an eating disorder but he or she denies anything is wrong, book an appointment with their pediatrician or family doctor, or ask a school counselor, religious leader, or trusted friend to help. Often kids find it easier to admit that they have a problem to someone outside of their immediate family. A doctor will also be able to determine if there are any signs of the serious health problems associated with an eating disorder. Also, eating disorder specialists are used to dealing with children who refuse to admit they have a problem. They are experienced dealing with denial and making a child feel comfortable talking about the problem.

Tips for parents of a child with an eating disorder

It can be deeply distressing for a parent to know that their child is struggling with an eating disorder. As well as ensuring your child receives the professional help he or she needs, here are some other tips:

• Examine your own attitudes about food, weight, body image and body size. Think about the way you personally are affected by body-image pressures, and share these with your child.


• Avoid threats, scare tactics, angry outbursts, and put-downs. Bear in mind that an eating disorder is often a symptom to extreme emotional and stress, an attempt to manage emotional pain, stress, and/or self-hate. Negative communication will only make it worse.


• Set caring and consistent limits for your child. For example, know how you will respond when your child wants to skip meals or eat alone, or when they get angry if someone eats their "special" food.


• Remain firm. Regardless of pleas to "not make me," and promises that the behavior will stop, you have to stay very attuned to what is happening with your child and may have to force them to go to the doctor or the hospital. Keep in mind how serious eating disorders are.


• Do whatever you can to promote self-esteem in your child in intellectual, athletic, and social endeavors. Give boys and girls the same opportunities and encouragement. A well-rounded sense of self and solid self-esteem are perhaps the best antidotes to disordered eating.


• Encourage your child to find healthy ways to manage unpleasant feelings such as stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness, or self-hatred.


• Remember it's not your fault. Parents often feel they must take on responsibility for the eating disorder, which is something they truly have no control over. Once you can accept that the eating disorder is not anyone's fault, you can be freed to take action that is honest and not clouded by what you "should" or "could" have done.

Adapted from: National Eating Disorders Association

(с) http://www.helpguide.org



2.
The NEDA Parent Toolkit is for anyone who wants to understand more about how to support a family member or friend affected by an eating disorder. You will find answers to your insurance questions; signs, symptoms and medical consequences; information about treatment and levels of care; and questions to ask when choosing a treatment provider. (читать онлайн  или скачать здесь бесплатно) 


3.
"A Survival Guide for Parents with Eating Disordered Children" online conference transcript


4.
Janet Treasure "Anorexia Nervosa: A Survival Guide for Families, Friends, and Sufferers"
читать здесь частично (англ) Или можно купить на Амазоне.

 

 

 

5. upd апр 2023

Parents Survive to Thrive Guide. A resource guide for parents of a child with an eating disorder. Written by parents with ived experience  keltyeatingdisorders.ca